Sunday, April 17, 2011

And Then I Looked Up... Mindfulness Post HAWMC #17

Today I wanted to scream.

I have already ruined one precious day with my hubs while on vacation.  Today I went and made it two.  Every time I eat, my body rebels.  So what did I do?  I ate.  It rebelled.  We had about a 2 mile walk to get back to the hotel and I wondered out loud how on earth that was going to be possible.

I tok my Gaviscon and said a few prayers.  My belly grew until I looked about 7 months pregnant and the pain was horrible.  Eventually the Gaviscon began to work.  I could move and we headed back for "home", praying we could get there before the nausea became more a promise than a feeling.

On the way I chided myself for my stupidity.  I should have known this would happen again.  But somewhere along the walk my abdomen began to quiet, and I slowly became my more cheerful self again.  I loved being with my husband.  I loved the feel of his skin against my hand as I held his arm.

And, then I looked up...

We were in a hotel - the Luxor - and we walked into the pyramid where it was comfortably dark, quiet and cool.  When I took a moment to take in the moment.

I imagined the pyramid completely empty but my hubs and me.  In my mind I lay down on the floor and looked up at the inside of the structure and marveled at the light streaming into the windows.  I took a picture in my mind's eye of the beauty of the massive structure.  I sensed the sounds around me and let them bounce off my skin.  I closed my eyes and imagined the molecules around me bouncing off my skin like the sound waves.

For that moment, nothing else existed.  There was no one else there.  There was no Sjogren's, no Lupus, no Dystonia, no Migraine or pain, no ruined afternoon.  For that moment, I wasn't a patient.  I was just Ellen - a woman like any other, breathing in the moment of freedom.

Sometimes I think that we as Health Activists forget that there is an outside world.  We are so caught up with being an advocate for our health passions, that the only time we aren't thinking about them is when we are thinking about our actual health or that of our family members.

It's vital for us to keep our batteries charged to take a moment or two out of each day to remember what it is like to be human beings.  Just people.  No health issues, no people depending on us.  No jobs to get to, no deadlines..... no blog posts to finish. 

I was born in 1964.  If I live to the age of 80, I will have experienced at least 42,076,800 minutes.

We are only allotted a certain number of moments in our lives.  Each minute is there only once, then gone.  Too often we lose track of them.  Sometimes we lose track of very important minutes.  Once lost, they are gone forever.

Each of these minutes are given to us for a purpose and a reason.  I may not know why that moment was given to me today, but I loved it, and I appreciate it.  It helped me by feeding my soul.  It reminded me that I am human. Tomorrow, I will be a better Health Activist because I lived that moment, literally and figuratively.

No, I don't want to waste a single one...

What moment did you lose today?

Comment by Joyce Cline on April 18, 2011 at 11:30am
i am glad that you were able to capture that moment of tranquility and enjoy the time together,me and my hubby went out to try out firehouse subs for his birthday and a baskin robbins later all free for join  ing the birthday clubs on the`s nice to be able to eat out for free. lets all enjoy time with our spouses on a whim and unplanned.
Comment by luvzrozes on April 20, 2011 at 1:12pm
Beautifully written Ellen.  Thanks so much for sharing with us.  We had spring break last week. We brought my last 2 dogs up from where I used to live, and on almost the last day, we decided to foster a neighbor's dog for a while so they could build him a neighbor friendly yard. (He loves to visit their neighbor and play, but the neighbor recently had surgery and can't play like he used to) We worked as hard as I was able on a garden.  It is wonderful to have, but the getting it started is hard work, even if someone else is doing most of it.  I have lost the last 3 mornings sleeping in to recover from the extra activity.  But what we accomplished is worth resting a little more this week!!!
Comment by Ellen S on April 21, 2011 at 10:30pm
Thanks guys for your encouraging comments!  My goal is to be sure I take a few moments of each day and do this...
Comment by Joyce Cline on April 22, 2011 at 12:59pm
that as a very nice gesture for the animal,i have just adopted a wonderful dog off of the internet.i am an animal lover and wish i had a farm. i would take all unwanted animals and take care of there needs and give all of the love i have for these animals.  joyce
Comment by Ellen S on April 23, 2011 at 9:20am
Joyce, you know, research proves that living life with an animal we care for is actually physically helpful to our health.  Like you, I love my animals and animal rescue was a passion for a really long time.  It's been a couple years since we did our last rescue.  There's really nothing better than looking into the eyes of one that has been taken from a bad situation... they too know show such gratitude when they've been helped.  I hope someday you get your farm and have the opportunity to do this more often :)

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