Sunday, June 2, 2013

X-Men and Chronic Migraine Heroes

Migraine & Headache Disorders Super Heroes: Who in your life goes above the call of duty and how?

It's no secret that my hubs has become my biggest hero throughout the years. I haven't often mentioned why...

I wish I could count the number of times I've heard people tell me "Do you have any idea how lucky you are that your husband has stood by you through all of this?" I am immediately ashamed that I would be the cause of a life others would consider something they couldn't live with, but of course, my answer is, "Yes".

When I met my husband, it wasn't his looks, his accent, or even his height or age that attracted me to him. I was almost 15 years old, and it would have been easy for those reasons to have turned my head.

It was something in his voice and the look on his face when he saw me that did it. Within seconds, I found him to be respectful, caring, polite, and charismatic. He had me smiling and laughing almost from the first moment. He was a christian too, and that floored me. I had no idea at the time that I would spend the majority of my life sick and disabled. I just knew that I enjoyed spending time with someone for whom those characteristics and ideals were important, as they were also important in my own life. I knew he was someone I would enjoy spending my whole life with.

My hubs has had his tough times with this illness business. It wasn't always easy. In fact, in the beginning he thought I was lazy and just needed a regimented, written schedule to get me through the day. So he wrote me one, placed it prominently on the refrigerator,then made me promise to stick to it for a week. He was SURE this would cure the problem. When it didn't, he still didn't let loose of the idea that it was some personal weakness that could be fixed, that was the problem. 

Every day he came home from work, he would open the front door and with a frustrated voice say, "So..... what did YOU do today?"

Most of my readers will immediately understand why this made me bristle. In fact, it caused a good number of fights. I briefly even considered leaving because I couldn't stand playing this blame game every day. But divorce wasn't in my personal vocabulary, and leaving never lasted longer than an afternoon's drive through the forest where I always feel my calmest. I knew he loved me. I knew the problem was that he didn't understand what was happening to me. I didn't even understand what was happening to me!

Soon he had to come to appointments with me as I wasn't able to drive for a while. That's when the lightbulb went on. He heard the doctors struggling with treating me. He saw me endure abuse that I was encouraged to report to the state examiners as it was so serious. He watched me nearly die from a drug interaction. When he tried to help me and couldn't, he began to understand that this wasn't something that could just be overcome by willpower and a schedule. 

My husband has picked me up and carried me like a baby. He's spoon fed me. He's cleaned up messes you never want someone you love to even see, let alone handle. He's stayed up all night rubbing joints and caressing my face for distraction. He's rushed me to the hospital and grabbed the arms of doctors so we could get answers. He's yelled at staff to get me the treatment I was being denied. 

Without my husband, there's no doubt I would have given up all hope, and most likely my life, long ago. 

He is my hands when I need lids lifted, arms when I can't reach something. He's my legs when I can't walk, and my back when I can't get out of bed. He's my balance when I can't stand in the shower by myself, taking a fully clothed shower so I could get the relief I needed from the hot water. He's been my secretary, writing down my meds so we can keep track of what needs to be taken when. And he's been my voice when I can't speak.

When I gave up, he wouldn't let me. 

When I was distraught, I asked him to divorce me so he could have the life he deserved, but he refused. 

Sometimes we fight. He has the right to lose his patience once in a while. He has the right to feel angry, and the right to act out once in a blue moon. He didn't ask for this life any more than I did. I try to keep my mouth closed when this happens, because I know how I need to vent sometimes, and surely he must be the same. 

Who is your Migraine and headache, or chronic illness hero? What makes them special to you? Take a moment and think about it, then join us in talking about them:

Migraine & Headache Awareness Month Blog Challenge #2 - X-Men


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